Maeve's Birth Story

Maeve is almost ten months old, so that means it is (finally) time to type up her birth story, right?

I’ve been wanting to write this post for quite a while, and I’ve even toyed around with the idea of making a podcast episode about the day.

But I’ve recorded (and re-recorded) that episode four or five times and it’s not quite where I want it to be. But I love revisiting Maeve’s birthday and someone just mentioned her birth story to me today. With a free afternoon, I think it’s time for a walk down memory lane to May 2019. . . (cue the dream sequence).

The best birthing advice

Maeve’s due date was May 1, but the date came and went and she showed no signs of making her entrance. I was recording a few episodes of Letters to Women to have in the queue during maternity leave in those days while I waited for labor to start, and one of them was with Alexa Hyman.

Listen to our episode together: “A Letter to the Woman Facing the Unexpected

We chatted about my upcoming labor and birth after the episode was done. Alexa gave me the incredible advice of letting go of all my expectations and surrendering to labor.

Now, if you’ve read this blog or listened to the podcast for a while, you know that I’m the embodiment of every stereotype you have about oldest children. I’m the type-A organizer who loves her labels and planners.

Needless to say, this advice was not taken well at first.

But then I started to think about it and it made total sense. I wanted to let go of expectations. I desired a peaceful and calm birth and I knew that my planning tendency sometimes gets in the way of being present.

So in the week leading up to Maeve’s birth, I started surrendering (check out this incredible novena!) and working on being present in the present moment.

That’s where the grace is, after all.

The labor begins

Almost a week after her due date, signs of labor started to appear. Because Maeve is the first little we’ve met this side of Heaven, I had zero. clue. what to look for when it came to labor.

I mean, yes, I’d read all the books and blogs, listened to all the podcasts, and watched tons of birthing videos on YouTube (remember, I’m type A).

But none of those can prepare you enough for actually birthing a baby yourself.

Tuesday, May 7, I woke up at 1:30am. I had contractions (at least, that’s what I thought they were) and they were two to seven minutes apart (which I’m sure of, since I already had downloaded a contraction timer). These contractions continued all through the night.

I texted our doula, who reminded me that I wanted to labor at home, and to keep her in the loop.

But by 8:00am, the contractions were coming every two to three minutes. So, Joseph and I decided to head into the hospital.

That’s what you’re supposed to do, right?

I should have known I wasn’t quite ready to give birth, since I had time to leisurely go through my hospital bag, gather up some last things, and gaze romantically at the garage door shutting behind us.

The next time I see that garage door opening, we’ll be coming home with a baby in the back seat, I thought.

Oh man, you don’t know what you don’t know.

Strolling around the labor and delivery floor

When we arrived at the hospital, we made our way up to labor and delivery. After getting checked in, the nurse came in to see how I was doing in terms of labor.

I held my breath. Would I be staying? Was it the time?

0 cm dilated. 50% effaced.

The nurse recommended walking the halls for an hour to see if that made a difference.

Dear reader, it did not.

“Labor is change,” the nurse reassured us as she got me ready to go home. “You’ll know when you need to come back.”

She then told us we might return in a few hours. Or a few days. My contractions may just subside. Or stick around.

I was not encouraged.

We made the slow walk of shame back to our car and headed back home.

Looking for the change

After a fitful night of sleep, by Wednesday morning at 8am, the contractions were still there.

Our doula came and showed us some exercises to help work through the harder contractions, but then let me labor with Joseph on our own at home. We kept her in the loop throughout the process.

The home we were living in at the time (renting from friends!) had a HUGE tub, which was incredibly helpful throughout the process.

The afternoon progressed and I finally understood what the labor and delivery nurse meant about change.

This was different.

I’d been preparing for birth with hypnobirthing tracks, which encouraged me to accept labor as a natural part of birth and to not fight contractions. I worked on totally relaxing my body and breathing. The hypnobirthing tracks also encouraged me to picture myself somewhere where I was totally relaxed, so I mentally traveled back to the shore of the Sea of Galilee, where I’d been on pilgrimage a few months before giving birth.

Then, around 3pm that afternoon, I knew we were ready to go into the hospital.

At that point, I’d been working through contractions since 1:30am on Tuesday morning. I was exhausted. I’d wanted to have a medication-free birth, but I was ready for something to take the edge off, if this was going to stretch on any longer.

There were no romantic gazes at the garage door that time around.

I was in the car before Joseph and ready. to. go.

Back again, back again

We made our way back up to the labor and delivery floor and I held my breath as they checked how I was doing.

At 4:30pm when they made the first check, I was 5 cm dilated and 90% effaced.

I wasn’t going back home.

When our doula came into the room at 5:00pm, she thought I had already gotten some pain killers via an IV. But my veins are so small that nurses usually have a hard time getting an IV started. That day was no different. Try as they might, they couldn’t get an IV started.

I was ready to meet Maeve, but I was in the zone. Our doula even asked if I had an epidural hidden somewhere!

By 6:15pm, I was ready to push.

Meeting Maeve

There was a moment during pushing that Maeve’s heartbeat started to decelerate. The doctor who was delivering (not my regular OB, who was on vacation in Africa, not kidding) looked me in the eyes and asked if I would prefer a C-section or use of forceps.

By the time we decided that we’d prefer forceps, Maeve’s heart was back to normal.

Nothing like baby heart deceleration to get a mom’s heart accelerating.

The pushing continued and I knew we were close. The nurses kept saying “You’re going to meet your baby soon, you’re going to get to hold her.”

That was encouraging.

Finally, with one last push, Maeve made her way into the world, screaming at 7:20pm.

A perfect 7 pounds, 5 ounces, she was able to nurse on the labor and delivery floor without any issues at all.

By 10:00pm (our normal bed time!) Joseph, Maeve, and I were up in the recovery room for our first night together - we all needed some sleep.

Reflecting on maeve’s birth

I never know whether to describe my labor with Maeve as incredibly long (1:30am Tuesday - 7:20pm) or incredibly short (active labor from 3:15pm - 7:20pm).

But regardless of the length, it is a labor that I love revisiting. I have no regrets or wishes to re-do when it comes to Maeve’s birth story.

We loved having Mariam, our doula, there at Maeve’s birth. Neither Joseph or myself wanted to cut the cord, so we asked Mariam if she would like to - and she did!

I loved being on a team with Joseph during labor, and seeing him as a father to a baby here on earth is something that daily makes me smile.

During our season of secondary infertility, I’d imagined Joseph holding a daughter for the first time, and the gift to see that dream come to fruition is something I thank God for daily.

I’ve heard some moms share that their second, third, etc. births are shorter than their first - so the only thing that sometimes makes me wonder is how long labor might be with any other littles God blesses us with.

But I do know that labor is not something I fear now. Actually, and I never thought I’d say this, I’m hopeful that I’ll get to experience labor again. Really!

If you’re a first-time mom reading this birth story as you prepare for your own birth, I’d just offer the same advice Alexa offered me in the weeks leading up to Maeve’s birth: let go of your expectations. Surrender your plans!

O Jesus, I surrender myself to you, take care of everything!

And there it is - Maeve’s birth story! I didn’t even include the story of her name (a later post . . maybe when she’s 20 months?) so keep an eye out for more. . . eventually! Now, it’s time to go snuggle that sweet ten month old sweet girl of ours.